So, sometime after I raccoon proofed my pond, I drove to the Marina Market in Foster City. I forget why I was needed to go there, but there I was. As I walked towards the back of the store where they sell live fish for food, I was shocked when I saw TURTLES!
Indulge me and allow me to give you a little history about my affinity for turtles. When I was about six years old in Portugal, I saw a television show about turtles. On the show they claimed that turtle’s shells were so strong that a person could stand on them. This was the most amazing thing I had ever heard. I needed to test this out immediately, but I needed a turtle. The show was not specific, so I figured that any turtle would do. Fortunately, I knew where I could find one nearby.
I raced over to this private gated garden where I knew this herculean critter was kept and snuck in. I found the little guy and stood on him. They were right!!! Now things never go as easy as you liked. The turtle I was standing on belonged to our landlord, as did the garden I was in. This garden had a window to a beauty parlor which was also owned by the same person and was where my mother often had her hair done. Of course by the time I got home both my mother and our landlord already knew that I had been standing on a turtle. They both wanted to know what the heck was wrong with me to do such a thing? Who says television does not influence kids. The bottom line is that I really like turtles.
Anyway, back to Foster City. So there were these two massive red-ear slider turtles in the aquarium being sold for turtle soup. I looked at my wife and she knew immediately what I was thinking and I knew she thought I was nuts, but I'm so use to that look that I'm almost immune to it. I told the person behind the counter that I wanted the turtles. So they took them out and placed them on a scale, weighed them and told me the price.
I HAD NEVER BOUGHT PETS BY THE POUND BEFORE, but it was an interesting concept. They were very reasonable by the pound!
The guy put them on a chopping block and grabbed a huge cleaver and asked me if I wanted them cleaned. I scream ‘NO!” This is where it got culturally sensitive; I did not want to say that I’m there to rescue these majestic creatures from their cruel doom. So I replied, “It’s OK, I like them really fresh. I’ll clean them myself just before cooking them.”
I walked out of the store with two giants in a bag and took them home to my pond. These monsters are nearly as destructive to my pond as the raccoons were, but I figure I owed them for oppressing one of their kind so many years ago . . . but you know I now had two large turtles, one for each foot? Turtle platform shoes? |
